The Spaces in Between

For the better part of a year now, “Learning to ride the wave” has been my go to response to anyone asking me “how’s it going?”  And that’s exactly where I’m at; learning to sit with it, to be with all of me. To be ok not being ok, and figuring out what the hell that even means. 

I’ve been nurturing my hurt parts and empowering the strong bits, finding solace is the process of carefully unwinding this inner self that is aching to emerge. The place between where I was and where I’m going still seems so blurred and fractured, each intentional breath bringing me closer into this moment. Finding my self lost in the endless stream of data as I reach above and gasp with eyes wide open. Leaning closer into the realms beyond thinking and knowing and being, deep beneath the meaning applied without warrant, I find myself hidden. 

Reluctant to be seen in all my glory, hesitant to fly. I step into the wild, beyond my safety net I feel freedom lift me. And for a moment I feel the ascent before my heart falls into my stomach and again I plummet to the underside of the wave. The cadence sways and carries me to the spaces in between the highs and the lows, where the magic lives. Here I am finding the steady love I desire. The muddy and mundane, the bright and beautiful, wrapping myself in a blanket of acceptance. Supported by all that surrounds me. 

Releasing the ideas of beginnings and endings, embracing all that is cyclical and divine. Feet gently rooted, hands and fingers spread wide as I allow the cosmic sands to shift around and with in me. Stillness settles the depths of the turbulence and reveals another wave of becoming before it offers it self back to the process. 

I truly sit in awe when I allow my intentional breath to weave together all of the beautiful offerings that are available to me. Letting go of the need to be on a high or low, and learning to really love the spaces in between.